It's all about friendship...

For a few weeks it's been all about me (relaxing near the river Serio)

The Captain of the Swiss Airbus A319 makes a PA to advise we have started our descent, we are overflying the Swiss Alps and the weather in Zurich is cloudy and 2 degrees! It is a seamless transit to my next flight to Cairo and as I come through the crowded arrivals area my eyes scan the faces looking for my old friend.

The last few weeks have been all about me…noticing the thoughts, sensations and actions (the energetic state) that I am in at any given time. Noticing what happens when I stop fighting with myself, and just how many battles have been going on “inside” me for so long.

I have discovered the value of just noticing and accepting what is….without trying to change it and mysteriously, a bit like having to highlight text before being able to delete it, naming and highlighting those parts of me I don’t like, those yukky bits I easily see in others but don’t recognise in myself, those things about myself that I perhaps even reject outright, those thoughts, feelings, sensations and things I do that I have felt ashamed of, felt guilty about, tried to hide, repress, distract myself from, cope with, soldier on with, swallow, ignore, lie about, am afraid of, deny or even hold up as a strength but which in some way blocks me, stops me from being as happy as I could be…

Simply acknowledging these things, voicing them, saying these unspeakable things to myself (that I am already thinking anyway) seems to render them impotent, they have less energy or hold over me, they diminish and sometimes even disappear altogether.

But these last few weeks have also been about friendship; Reconnecting with old friends, making new ones, seeing old ones in a different way or perhaps even recognising them hidden in another role.

and I haven’t been so much visiting a place, but visiting a person or people there.

I have not been a tourist, but a temporary resident, shopping, walking with and sitting with locals, seeing a place from the perspective of its citizens and each time I have been welcomed into someone’s home, village, town, city of country, or heart I have automatically been welcomed into their life, becoming part of their history and experience.

I returned briefly to the place Mum called home, and this time I went for myself, to see my friends there, to offer friendship and support but not be attached to the outcome.

There's already snow on Mum's beloved mountains

In the last week I have travelled from Florence to Rome and then to Cairo via Zurich and to Doha via Abu Dhabi. Next, I will travel to Zurich via Frankfurt, each time to see a friend.

I met Professor “A” 25 years ago. At the time he and his brother were students. They were on holidays with their parents, both accomplished professionals. “A” was the first Muslim I have ever really known and as a result of that connection I have been less willing to jump to conclusions or accept blanket statements about any group.

He had a gentle but profound faith (which I did not share) in a set of principles and a religion which I later learned he did not just mindlessly adopt or absorb but he rigorously studied, questioned and compared with every other major religion until he finally decided it was right for him and he consciously chose it for himself, and what I love about this, is that it is not just something he theorises about. He deeply and sincerely seeks to live by these principles each day.

He is now a world renowned surgeon and academic and his brother is equally talented. Their wives are intelligent professionals and mothers and A’s daughter has inherited the family DNA, for intelligence and high achievement, being talented in sciences and arts, and yet for all their success and achievements, they remain humble, devout but very open human beings who of course flawed and absolutely fabulous and I am glad that we are friends!     

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I’m sitting in the lobby of the Grand Mercure Hotel in Doha. I had no intention of coming here. In fact I was hoping to meet my Aussie-Egyptian friend Hazem in Cairo or somewhere else, but he’s working here and I wanted to see him and so I made it happen.

Doha is the capital of Qatar, a tiny thumb shaped spit of sand on the Gulf which (according to the International Herald Tribune that I was reading on the plane) is a country that inspires equal parts irritation and admiration given its political influence in the region.

It is sandwiched on the Saudi side of the Gulf between Saudi Arabia and Iran and hosts a sprawling American air base.

It has the world’s highest growth rate and highest per capita income, which is evident when you see the massive construction sites that operate 24 hours a day and read about the billion dollar projects that are being undertaken.  http://www.qatarfoundation.com.qa/

Although I see all the positives and admire the vision and achievements of its architects (I was privileged to speak with one of the key players in its development) it is not a place that attracts me.

Perhaps it is simply still very ‘young” but to me everything seems new and flashy, a place of excesses that caters to the super rich but it hasn’t yet developed its own identity and soul (although I can see signs that it is trying to)

There is a huge expat population here, both in skilled and semi skilled workers with most of the people I spoke to, simply there to make money (not difficult when there is a 0% tax rate).

That said, I did enjoy wandering around Souq Waqif (which is a new souq built on the site and in the style of an old souq) and as well as shops selling carpets, perfumes and souvenirs and interesting areas selling fish and birds, there are upmarket cafes restaurants, most offering shisha.

I spent a pleasant few hours having a particularly good tabouleh salad and fresh fish fingers with a just-squeezed mango juice while reading a book, listening to Arab music and people watching. It was so hot that I couldn’t leave without trying 2 scoops of haagen dazs icecream. Just as well as I got lost walking back to my hotel and needed the extra sustenance! 

The cultural centre (Katara) whose entrance is lined with paintings of carpets is also worth a visit, as is driving along the Corniche area and seeing the city’s skyline.

But I was here to see my friend, and that’s what made this place special for me. Hazem was a perfect host (within the limits of the cultural constraints).  We could not hug or act affectionately in public and I had to dress like an Amish aunt (poor Hazem had to bring me back to the hotel once to change or I would not have been allowed in to the restaurant (and I was dressed in what I thought was acceptable garb)

He took me for a wonderful bike ride along the Corniche on his Ducati and I got to hang out with his friends. We ate in a traditional Egyptian restaurant, smoked grape Shisha (well technically I didn’t as perhaps a psychological aversion to inhaling tobacco after all these years of being a non smoker prevented me from doing it right!http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/8214097.stm This article I read later confirmed my suspicion that it is not as harmless as it looks) but I do love the smell of Shisha and strangely it does not leave a bad smell on your clothes like normal cigarette smoking.


 I spent a wonderful morning with Hazem and two of his work mates having a traditional breakfast of foul (bean) and hummus dip, fresh Lebanese bread and falafel with sweet black tea and later talking about serious and fun things over a coffee and shish.  

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I walk into the Costa coffee café and wait for Hazem while he orders and pays for our coffees (I thought Italians were bad, but Arabs can be worse for not letting friends pay) and a man with a gentle face dressed in a thawb, a long, usually white, dress with a collar which is like a European shirt but extends down to the feet, seems to be waving to me. I look behind me, but he smiles and talks to me directly.

“I saw you at the airport”, he says, “Remember?” and indeed I do. He was  the kind stranger who helped me and another English lady waiting in the queue for immigration formalities. He gives me his card, (“Call me if you need anything. I’m always here if you want to catch up”) He is a Syrian who has a training institute in Doha and (he’s either a medical doctor or has a PHD) introduces me to the distinguished looking gentleman sitting next to him, as the next potential President of Somalia. Mmm… the people you cross paths with when you travel!

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Sitting in the lobby of the Grand Mercure Hotel http://www.mercure.com/gb/hotel-0546-mercure-grand-hotel-doha-city-centre/index.shtml waiting for the hotel shuttle which will take me to the airport for a 1.15am flight to Frankfurt, and I am only vaguely aware of what is going on around me as I am busy on my computer.

I look up occasionally and smile at the young woman sitting across from me. When I need to go to the toilet I ask her to mind my stuff. She smiles shyly on my return and asks me where I am from. We continue a limited conversation between my typing and her interaction with her family group. I become aware that some other friends of theirs are sitting nearby, and move so they can talk together and although I am apart I actually feel part of that little group. When they leave some time later they give me their contact details and invite me to Iran. ‘You are always welcome in our home” they tell me, and true to their word follow up the invitation formally with an email.

Hi.thanks for your mail Mrs monica

we happening for recognise you and we hope to see you next time.

If you don't come to iran you should send visa for us because we are miss you.

Thanks regards.

I read the lines a few times with varying reaction, and then I settle for the one that feels most right. I am so lucky for my life exactly as it is. Amen.

traffic in down town Cairo

good to be here again

It is a time of radical political change. At the University of Cairo the mood is excited as elections are held for position of Dean for the first time. 

a local Mosque