About friendship...

I have been thinking about friendship and what it means to me.

"A friend is someone who hears the song in your heart and sings it to you when you have forgotten the words"

This quote probably comes closest to reflecting what I think about friendship.

For me, true friendship is a safe space, where you know that you can be and say who you really are and be accepted, and in turn you want to know and be with and there for the other person.

It is about being seen and heard and felt and accepted, but also about being treated with respect and honesty. At a practical level, it is about being able to share your life with your friend, knowing you can call them when something exciting is happening or when you are down, even if you choose not to.

Friends are the ones who are not afraid to reveal themselves to you and can stand it when you are vulnerable or unreasonable occasionally, because sometimes we can all be a bit self-centred.

A friend is someone whose voice lights up when they hear yours and when you hear theirs it makes you smile.

Friendship is something to be treasured and nurtured, not taken for granted, expected or exploited.

Friendship is not measured by the time you spend with someone, but how you spend your time with them.

It is about being comfortable to sit in silence or chat for hours. 

In many ways it is only when you know someone intimately, that a friendship can be tested.

That’s why travelling with others can be such a strain. We all have our personal likes and daily rituals –whether we get up early or late, which side of the bed we like to sleep on, whether we read before we go to sleep, whether we prefer to keep the toilet door open or closed, whether we are shoppers or lovers of cultural experiences or both, whether we are noise sensitive, spend a long time under the shower or can pack in a few minutes, whether we are organised or more laid back in our approach. A lack of compatibility in any of these areas can make for an unpleasant experience and I have had a few of those, so now I prefer to travel on my own or with someone I know well.

Most close friendships (but especially romantic relationships) are about more than just sharing your body or your thoughts. They require you to share your space, your time and your energy. They thrive or fail depending on how well your rituals fit together, and how easily you tolerate and make space for difference and to what extent you truly give of yourself.

Like all things, friendships can end.

Sometimes you think you have found a true friend, but it turns out that you are wrong and you feel betrayed, judged, hurt or disappointed. Other times, the friendship comes to a more natural or comfortable end. People move away or move on, the things that drew you together (shared interests, work, children at the same school) change and you lose touch.

Friends are the family we choose for ourselves. If we let them get close enough, they can hold up a mirror for us, and if we look closely we can see our soul.

Good friends offer us safe haven, the opportunity to “stretch” and to have fun and a place to learn how to share, be assertive, forgive and love.

Above all, friendship is a gift that is sometimes undervalued.

I am grateful for each and every person, I have ever called a friend.

A presto

Mon x

sometimes it's easy being close

other times..you need to negotiate

sharing time together

sometimes just being near friends is enough

no need to do much to feel connected

making sure your friend is okay

sharing and being proud of their achievements

no need for words

Nat was born with only 3 legs and left to die. He was "adopted" by his friend and they have been inseparable for years

we need our friends, especially when we are having a bad day!