Stressed...Try the Stop Strategy!

the sky last night on the way home

scaled the fence to reach the top of the Santuario!

local Granddad (Nonno)

girls having a laugh

boys having yarn

local enjoying the morning sun

Cathedral Tindari home of the black Madonna

This Brolo icecream is the best!

do-er uppers everywhere!

another qigong place

fresh bread and cheese!

Hot Chocolate Italian style!

Local fish and salad!

Fiorelli Fragolino, strawberry wine that goes down very easily

latest beach clean up

my helper, we rolled a washing machine drum up the beach!

This last week has just flown by...

The photos show just a few things that I have done. Apart from my usual walks, "bar stops" etc I have been to Tindari, a nearby hill top town with a famous black Madonna, have attended a number of cultural events (It's been cultural week here at Capo, so there have been free concerts, poetry readings etc) written a letter to the local paper and Mayor, continued to clean up the beach (managed to get help one day) went with a Dr on her "rounds", had guests for dinner and enjoyed more local produce and hospitality. It does feel like I am doing the EAT part of EAT, PRAY, LOVE... 

 

This morning I climb the steep hill to the Santuario as I have done so many times before. I sit down at the top of the stairs to catch my breath and look at the now familiar view. But something is different this time.

As I look across the terracotta rooftops to the distant hills that lead to Palermo and then back along the shore line with its numerous U shaped bays I decide to pause for a moment and look at the view again.

I notice some smoke rising lazily in the distance, and a small bird darting energetically from one clump of wild flowers to the next. I notice a fly circling annoyingly looking for a place to settle and the colourful splashes of green and blue awning scattered here and there between the terracotta. In the distance, a bus winds slowly up the steep hill on its way to Palermo and a solitary car drives up the nearly deserted street below. The early morning sun bathes everything with a soft haze, except on the sea below where the sunlight dances lightly across the water creating brilliant complex patterns of movement. I watch for a moment transfixed by the blissful performance.

I hear the sound of that happy bird as it wends its way excitedly across its spacious territory, singing its joy. An approaching train signals its arrival and here and there the toot of greeting and frustration as people join the waking day in early morning ritual. The sound of the waves below gently lapping a still cool beach with frothy caress and a moment or two of glorious silence in between.

I feel the sun warming my back and the muscles of my calves taut with exertion. My feet connect with the ancient rock from which the stairs are hewn.

A faint smell of wood fires mingles with freesias and other spring flowers and the aroma of the bakery that I passed on my way up the hill is still in my nostrils.

I am aware that I am hungry and I take a small mandarin from my pocket. The orange shiny skin is flawless until I scratch it and the sharp citrus smell brings the saliva to my mouth. I peel the mandarin slowly, removing each bit of white pith until the mandarin sits naked and vulnerable on my palm. I remove one small segment and bite into its sweetness, chewing it slowly, the sweetness spreading across my tongue and mouth. I swallow and feel the now chewed segment making its way into my body.

When I bite into the next segment it bursts and some sweet juice dribbles down my chin. I wipe it off with the back of my hand and continue eating the mandarin until has all but disappeared, its essence absorbed into my body.  

I scan my body for any tension and there is none. I can hardly feel my body at all or tell where it finishes. It is as if my energy has merged with nature. I am less “me” than before and yet I am not diminished.

I notice that my breath has naturally slowed down. There is no effort and time is of no consequence.

For a moment I join a seagull as it surfs the invisible air currents and am grateful for that taste of freedom. 

I relish the effortless contentment I feel and breathe its energy into my body and spirit.

A cloud shaped like a splayed dragon drifts overhead and as I watch, its face becomes Father Christmas and then a frog…

and another dragon approaches and devours it. For a while I am lost in the drama and then I return...

If the luxury of getting lost in daydreams and clouds eludes you, and worse if you are frustrated, anxious or stressed. I offer my STOP strategy. It is a simple technique for regaining equilibrium. It will not solve your problems, but it is a way of stopping that feeling of being out of control. I have taught it in various forms to countless clients and used it myself. I hope it is helpful.  

Anger, frustration, irritation, sadness, worry are all states that rob us of energy and may stop us from achieving the outcomes that we want to.

When we are in these states our body is in a state of disequilibrium and tension. We are all different but this tension or disequilibrium will show up somewhere in our physical body. If we pay attention we will know where that is. For some of us it is a queasy feeling in our stomach, for others a tension or clenching of the jaw, tightness or constriction in the chest or headache. Where do you feel stress in your body?

Next time you notice it…..

On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being low state of (whatever you are feeling) and 10 being a high state of (whatever you are feeling) rate what level of anger, frustration, hurt etc you are currently feeling, then  

S       Stop…take a moment to pause…if possible somewhere in nature

T       Take 3 breaths.....

START with an OUT BREATH......
imagine you are blowing out very gently to cool down some hot soup ..
keep blowing ..very gently until it feels like your lungs are totally empty ...then

ALLOW them to fill up very slowly and gently ...on their own ...ie BREATHE IN through your nose...without any effort

REPEAT .....OUTBREATH....blow very gently and SLOWLY through your mouth until it feels like your lungs are empty
and again ALLOW them to fill up slowly and without any effort on your part

REPEAT a third time and then breathe naturally in and out through your nose, allowing your breath to settle into its own natural rhythm.

O       Observe

1. What you are feeling physically? Notice any sensations of tightness or discomfort and areas of tension. If there is any, imagine your in-breath loosening and softening that area and the tension floating out on your out-breath.

2. What you are feeling emotionally? Just notice and acknowledge what you are feeling on the in breath for example “I am feeling irritated”. As you breathe out, imagine that energy leaving your body ...floating out on your breath
3. What are you are thinking? Watch for any "should" words, “I should be doing this” or “I shouldn't be feeling that”.
 Don't judge what you are thinking or try to stop it...just notice
4. Observe how connected you feel-to yourself (your “true” nature, your friends/ family, nature, the world in general)

P      Proceed with purpose

At this stage ask yourself, “What state do I want to be in? ...ie peaceful, happy, calm, relaxed
Imagine what that state would look like, feel like, what you would be doing etc

Give yourself some time to imagine and feel this state….

then ask is what I am FEELING, THINKING, DOING, SAYING now helping to get me there...
if yes...keep going for it...if no, shift your focus and CHOOSE to focus on something positive and or helpful

so say to yourself...EVEN THOUGH  ..I as feeling frustrated and angry right now...I CHOOSE to remain calm and relaxed or I CHOOSE to remember that this will pass etc Repeat this phrase a few times, until you feel calmer and more relaxed. 

Following this process to this point should be enough to lower your physiological

arousal. Your body’s natural relaxation response, should have switched on.

There are a couple of other techniques that you can also try...I'll share them with

you later.

a presto

mon x